Jell-o, Sunshine, his Jacket, and Hugs
by gremlin2318
Summary: This is a post Spoils of War 5x19 piece. It picks up right where the episode left off. Added a few lines that popped into my head 4/7/14


**Title: **Jell-o, Sunshine, his Jacket, and Hugs

**Summary: **Picks up right where Spoils of War left off

**Rated: **K+

**Disclaimer: **I don't own NCIS LA or the characters

* * *

**Jell-o, Sunshine, his Jacket, and Hugs**

Even as he holds his sobbing partner in his arms, he still can't believe she is alive. When he heard she had gone missing in Afghanistan he had started to prepare himself for the worst. Then, when he saw the picture of her…well he still had hope, but he knew the outcome of the picture was a greater possibility. He presses his lips to her hair so grateful that the person that matters most to him is still on this earth.

She holds on for dear life so she knows that this is real. She knew her team would try to save her, but she honestly didn't think they would be able to do it in time. She thought she had lived through a lot of things, but the past week or so had been her hell on earth. She had pretty much given up hope of living through it, and was afraid to believe it when Jack whispered that the people in the helicopter were asking for a prisoner exchange. The past few hours had gone by in a daze. Her external injuries had been tended to, and she'd been checked for internal injuries. She'd been cleaned up and given a change of clothes. She has a thousand different emotions: fear, anger, sadness, gratefulness, love, humility, regret, guilt. None of which can she seem to process except through a stream of endless tears.

"Cal…Callen and…and Sam," she tries to begin a sentence about needing to go meet them, but still can't get out many words.

"will understand if you're not ready," Deeks finishes. "I'm not ready," he whispers as he runs his hand down her back.

When she is ready and slowly pulls out of the hug, Deeks keeps an arm around her waist. She realizes that he had meant he wasn't ready to let go when he whispered in her ear a few minutes ago. She understands that and wraps her arm around him too, leaning against him for support. Being near him is making her feel stronger.

"I think we made the right decision leaving Deeks behind," Sam says nudging Callen as he notices Deeks and Kensi enter the mess together.

"I'm glad she has him," Callen says earnestly, seeing in the short few minutes he has spent with her that she has been through a lot. Then he teases Sam, "I really could use a hug next time I face death."

Kensi and Deeks let go of each other as they fill their plates with food. As soon as Kensi nears the table Sam and Callen stand.

"Our turn," Callen says opening his arms as Kensi sets her plate down.

"I really can't thank you enough," Kensi tells them.

"You've done the same for us," Sam reminds her as he goes in for a gentle bear hug.

"We saved three people. I say it was worth the risks," Callen adds.

When they are seated, Deeks feels a hand on his leg under the table. Understanding immediately, he reaches over and takes her hand in his. The meal is fairly quiet as Kensi tries to hold in tears and none of the rest feel much like talking either. Deeks notices that Kensi is mostly picking at her food except she ate all of her jell-o cup. He slides his over in her direction and she eats his too.

"Want help with your stuff?" Deeks asks Kensi when they are done eating. She nods.

"Truck is picking us up here for the air strip in one hour," Callen reminds them.

"Kensi," Deeks says quietly once they are in her bunk area, "is there anything I can do?"

"You already did," she replies.

"Not enough, I should have come sooner. I wanted to." He tries not to sound too angry with himself, with Granger, with Hetty. He doesn't want to upset her.

"I should've done better," she says not able to meet his eyes. Both feel like this is all their fault and know better than to try and convince the other person that it is not.

After all her things are packed, Kensi tries to fix her hair a bit. "Um, Deeks, there is something. It's kind of stupid." She doesn't even know why she cares so much about it except it might help her feel more like herself again.

"Anything Kens"

"The nurses helped me clean up pretty well, but would you wash my hair?"

"Sunshine, I will do anything to help ease the pain in those beautiful eyes."

She shows him where a second gash at the back of her head is so he can avoid it. As he washes her hair in the sink of the trailer, he notices it has grown a couple inches since he last saw her. When he is done one of the other women in the trailer wordlessly brings him a blow dryer. He is sure to keep it away from her wounds. They finish just in time to make it back to the mess two minutes before the truck arrives.

As Kensi watches the mountains disappear beneath her in the Afghanistan twilight, she can't believe that in less than a day she will be home in sunny, warm Los Angeles. She's relieved and grateful to be going home. She is glad to have a future. She is especially glad to have a future that includes the man sitting next to her; whether it be personally, professionally, or both. She is also worried about leaving Jack behind down there. She is trying to understand that Afghanistan is his home now. She is trying to understand why he couldn't love her when she loved him so much.

Deeks glances over at her staring out the window and wonders if she is thinking about Jack. He'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt his heart to see Jack holding her and caressing her cheeks and arms, but his head knows these circumstances are not a time for jealousy.

Their plane has seats along one side and cots along the other for wounded service men or women or those that just need sleep. About 30 minutes into the flight Deeks lays a hand over Kensi's and suggests, "Why don't you lie down?"

"I'm good," she insists and rests her head on his shoulder instead. They are both tired, but sleep doesn't come, so they talk in hushed voices about anything except what they have just been through. Eventually the thought of laying her aching body down overpowers her pride in remaining strong. She lies on a cot facing the wall of the plane. Deeks helps adjust a blanket over her, then lowers himself to the floor next to the cot and begins to rub her back needing that contact with her. Kensi doesn't complain or care who sees. It's a comfort to have Deeks close.

A half hour later Sam looks over to see Deeks with his head resting on the hard metal side of the cot, mouth open, slightly snoring. His hand still rests against the middle of Kensi's back.

"Now that's love," Sam comments on what he is witnessing, drawing Callen's attention from his tablet to the couple.

"It's definitely something," Callen agrees. "Hopefully something that will help her heal," he adds. Both men are grateful their younger team member is here with them coming home, yet fearful of what this mission has done to her.

A few hours later they need to land in Germany to refuel. As they descend Kensi starts to thrash around and talk in her sleep. Deeks pushes himself off the floor and onto the cot next to her. He puts his hands on her shoulders to gently shake her awake. She jolts awake and frantically demands, "Don't touch me," as she tries to push him away.

"Kens, it's me," he assures her as he gathers her in his arms. As she wakes up and takes in his voice and scent of him, she stops struggling and sinks into him. As he holds her he feels her breathing and heartbeat slow back to normal.

"Let's go sit down," she requests feeling exposed on the cot compared to their two seats separated by other rows of seats. She makes a stop at the bathroom first. She had gotten sweaty in sleep and takes off her sweater. Deeks's jacket is on her seat when she returns, so she positions that over her shoulders with his help to keep out the chill.

When they are seated Deeks pulls two Jell-o cups and spoons out of his bag. This gets a hint of a smile from Kensi as she asks, "How many of those do you have?"

"Enough to get us home and well into tomorrow."

They arrive home after 11:00, but Nell and Eric are at Edwards to meet them. Deeks helps Kensi down the steps of the plane. As Nell and Eric walk as fast as they can toward them Deeks warns protectively as he holds up a hand to keep them from crushing Kensi, "careful guys."

Nell wraps her arms around Kensi in a tentative, warm hug. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too," Kensi replies, hugging her back. "Thank you for everything you did."

"Anytime," Nells says, then thinks about it for a moment, "Actually, not anytime because we are never doing this again."

"You got that right," Deeks agrees as Kensi nods her agreement too.

"You were awesome," Nell compliments Deeks as they embrace.

"I am sorry guys," Kensi admits after hugging Eric. "If I hadn't gone after Jack…" she trails off.

"We've all gone off mission when we felt something wasn't right," Callen begins assuring her it wasn't her fault.

"You didn't have the whole story," Eric adds.

"I would have done the same thing," Sam puts in his two cents.

"You already know I'm always on your side." Deeks comes back to her side and places a hand on her lower back.

"Let's not get any further into this tonight," Callen suggests, leaving the question of what Hetty was thinking left unspoken by all. "Good mission everyone."

Her eyes brim with tears as they enter her apartment. Deeks looks up at her after setting her bags down and can see in those tear-filled eyes how lost and helpless she feels. He walks over to her and wraps his arms around her once again. "I'm not going anywhere. I've got you," he softly promises. Wordlessly they change into pajamas and crawl into her bed. They end the journey home how they began it, in each other's arms.


End file.
